he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
