Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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