You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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