I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
