You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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