what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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