Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
