i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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