I'm lost and stupid without you.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
