Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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