Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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