I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
