I just made out with a guy for $7.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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