i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
