ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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