Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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