i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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