carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
