i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
