Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
