So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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