I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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