She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
