i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
