I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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