i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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