I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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