I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
