I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
