I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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