Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the day after is always just damage control
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
