So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
