hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
