oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
