I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
