Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
