So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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