i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
