I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
