I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
