just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
