the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
