I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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