rhymes with "ouble enetration"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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