can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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