i just wanna soil my oats bro
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
