from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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