Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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