I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm so fucking centered right now
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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