did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
