Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
