this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
