If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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