I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
